Dirty's Topless Bar

Property weighs 7 sub-metrics — atmosphere, location, privacy, parking, luxury, amenities, capacity — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 property score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

No luxury to speak of here.

The property itself is a letdown. The location is convenient, but the parking and amenities are subpar. It's not a bad place to grab a quick drink, but don't expect much in terms of luxury. If you're looking for a high-end experience, keep looking.

Service weighs 7 sub-metrics — door, bar, speed, respect, safety, clean, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 service score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Service is nonexistent, but bartenders try.

The service at Dirty's is a mixed bag. The bartenders are friendly and try their best, but the door staff is nonexistent. It's not a bad place to grab a drink alone, but if you're looking for a more personalized experience, you'll be disappointed.

Food weighs 7 sub-metrics — quality, price, drinks, bottles, luxury, cigar, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 food score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Drinks are cheap, but that's about it.

The food and drink options at Dirty's are limited and unimpressive. The cheap drinks are the only redeeming quality, but even those are a stretch. If you're looking for a place to grab a bite to eat, keep looking. If you want a cheap drink, you might find it here.

Performers weighs 6 sub-metrics — talent, style, interact, pro, vip, dance — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 performers score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

The dancing is the only decent thing here.

The performers at Dirty's are the only decent thing about the place. The dancing is top-notch, and the talent is clearly passionate about what they do. However, the lack of professionalism and respect from the staff makes it difficult to fully enjoy the experience. If you're a fan of burlesque or topless dancing, you might find something to love here.

Each point on the radar is a dimension scored 0–100, weighted by how much it shapes a night out. Balanced shapes mean well-rounded clubs; spikes mean a venue excels at one thing but not others.

Tap any dimension's own info icon to see which sub-metrics feed into it.

Dirty's is a total miss.

Overall, Dirty's falls short in almost every area. The atmosphere and luxury are particularly lacking, making it feel like a dive. Unless you're a die-hard fan of bottom-shelf drinks, there's not much to love here.

SW Score is a weighted composite across four dimensions — property, service, food, and performers — measured across 27 sub-metrics and a separate value score.

Sub-metric signals are pulled from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. Each dimension rolls up into a 0-100 score, which feeds the weighted overall.

How to read the shape: a balanced radar means a well-rounded club. A spiked shape means it excels at one thing and not others. Tap any dimension below for its full breakdown.