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© 2026 Stripper Warehouse

Closed Strip Club

Hong Kong Spa

New Orleans, LA 9000 Chef Menteur Hwy #P (504) 242-4070
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Closed
Strip Club Topless 21+
Hours
Hours not published.
On tap
VIP Rooms
Private Booths
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9000 Chef Menteur Hwy #P
New Orleans, LA (504) 242-4070
16/100
How this is scored
24/100
How property is scored
HOW PROPERTY IS SCORED

Property weighting

Property weighs 7 sub-metrics — atmosphere, location, privacy, parking, luxury, amenities, capacity — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 property score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

PROPERTY · 24/100

The room

Sub-metrics (0-10)
  • Atmosphere 1.7
  • Location 1.0
  • Privacy 5.1
  • Parking 1.0
  • Luxury 1.0
  • Amenities 3.4
  • Capacity 3.4
9/100
How service is scored
HOW SERVICE IS SCORED

Service weighting

Service weighs 7 sub-metrics — door, bar, speed, respect, safety, clean, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 service score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

SERVICE · 9/100

The hospitality

Sub-metrics (0-10)
  • Door service 1.0
  • Bar service 1.0
  • Speed 1.7
  • Respect 1.7
  • Safety 1.0
  • Cleanliness 1.0
  • Value 1.0
60/100
How food is scored
HOW FOOD IS SCORED

Food weighting

Food weighs 7 sub-metrics — quality, price, drinks, bottles, luxury, cigar, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 food score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

FOOD · 60/100

The kitchen

Sub-metrics (0-10)
  • Food quality 1.0
  • Food prices 1.0
  • Drink prices 6.0
  • Bottle prices 1.0
  • Luxury 1.0
  • Cigars & hookah 1.0
  • Value 1.0
10/100
How performers is scored
HOW PERFORMERS IS SCORED

Performers weighting

Performers weighs 6 sub-metrics — talent, style, interact, pro, vip, dance — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 performers score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

PERFORMERS · 10/100

The floor

Sub-metrics (0-10)
  • Talent quality 1.0
  • Appearance & style 1.0
  • Interaction 1.0
  • Professionalism 1.7
  • VIP value 1.0
  • Dance value 3.4
HOW IT'S SCORED

Overall SW Score weighting

Each point on the radar is a dimension scored 0–100, weighted by how much it shapes a night out. Balanced shapes mean well-rounded clubs; spikes mean a venue excels at one thing but not others.

Tap any dimension's own info icon to see which sub-metrics feed into it.

SW SCORE · 16/100

How scoring works

SW Score is a weighted composite across four dimensions — property, service, food, and performers — measured across 27 sub-metrics and a separate value score.

Sub-metric signals are pulled from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. Each dimension rolls up into a 0-100 score, which feeds the weighted overall.

How to read the shape: a balanced radar means a well-rounded club. A spiked shape means it excels at one thing and not others. Tap any dimension below for its full breakdown.

Dimension scores
  • Property 24
  • Service 9
  • Food 60
  • Performers 10
  • Value 40
Rate this club

Your take, one tap at a time.

A quick 6-step walkthrough — 4 categories of spiderweb ratings plus a written review at the end. Takes about 2 minutes.

0 of 27 rated

What the floor said

1 review
70/100 SW score
BusinessTravelerNola
business_traveler
Not what I expected but okay Came here after a long day of meetings expecting a traditional club atmosphere. It's more of a massage setup with private rooms, which was fine once I adjusted my expectations. The parking situation is absolutely terrible though - had to circle the block multiple times.
50/100 SW score
LocalMike
regular
Rushed and disappointing Been to most places around town and this one falls short. The whole experience felt rushed from start to finish, and the staff seemed more interested in turning tables than providing any real service. Atmosphere is pretty dead too - feels more like a clinic than entertainment venue.
40/100 SW score
FirstTimeNola
first_timer
Skip this one Visiting from out of state and this was a waste of money. No parking anywhere nearby and once inside it's just not worth the hassle. Service was unprofessional and overpriced for what you get.
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