Sylvia's Playhouse

Property weighs 7 sub-metrics — atmosphere, location, privacy, parking, luxury, amenities, capacity — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 property score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

More like a cramped, run-down house.

The room is cramped and run-down, which is a shame given the decent location. The lack of luxury and poor parking options make it feel like a dive bar. Still, the private rooms are a decent option if you're looking for some alone time.

Service weighs 7 sub-metrics — door, bar, speed, respect, safety, clean, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 service score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

You'll get treated fine, but don't expect much.

The hospitality is friendly, but the service is slow and the bar service is non-existent. You'll get treated fine, but don't expect much in terms of attention or extras. The respect from the staff is nice, but the safety concerns and cleanliness issues bring the score down.

Food weighs 7 sub-metrics — quality, price, drinks, bottles, luxury, cigar, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 food score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Bring your own snacks, trust us.

Don't bother with the food or drinks – they're overpriced and underwhelming. The quality is subpar, and the prices are steep. If you're hungry, bring your own snacks or grab something from outside. The drink prices are the only redeeming quality, but even that's not enough to save the food.

Performers weighs 6 sub-metrics — talent, style, interact, pro, vip, dance — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 performers score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Some talented dancers, but not enough of them.

The talented dancers are the highlight of the club, but there just aren't enough of them. The appearance style and interaction with the audience are top-notch, but the professionalism and VIP/dance value are lacking. If you're looking for a great show, you'll find it, but be prepared for a lackluster experience otherwise.

Each point on the radar is a dimension scored 0–100, weighted by how much it shapes a night out. Balanced shapes mean well-rounded clubs; spikes mean a venue excels at one thing but not others.

Tap any dimension's own info icon to see which sub-metrics feed into it.

Portland's most middling strip club.

Sylvia's Playhouse is a Portland staple, but it's hard to get excited about. The mixed scores reflect a club that's just okay in every department. If you're looking for a no-frills strip club experience, you might find a decent time, but don't expect to be wowed.

SW Score is a weighted composite across four dimensions — property, service, food, and performers — measured across 27 sub-metrics and a separate value score.

Sub-metric signals are pulled from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. Each dimension rolls up into a 0-100 score, which feeds the weighted overall.

How to read the shape: a balanced radar means a well-rounded club. A spiked shape means it excels at one thing and not others. Tap any dimension below for its full breakdown.