Cheeks

Property weighs 7 sub-metrics — atmosphere, location, privacy, parking, luxury, amenities, capacity — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 property score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Grim room with no atmosphere or upkeep.

The room itself is a dud: zero atmosphere, zero luxury, zero appeal. Parking, location, privacy, capacity—all bottom-tier. Walking in feels like entering an abandoned warehouse. Don't expect comfort or style.

Service weighs 7 sub-metrics — door, bar, speed, respect, safety, clean, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 service score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Staff doesn't care, place feels unsafe.

Door staff, bar staff, cleanliness, safety, respect—all nonexistent. The place doesn't feel secure and nobody acts like they want you there. Service is slow, indifferent, and disrespectful. You'll feel unwelcome from the moment you arrive.

Food weighs 7 sub-metrics — quality, price, drinks, bottles, luxury, cigar, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 food score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Overpriced garbage you shouldn't eat or drink.

Drinks are overpriced swill, food is inedible, bottles are a ripoff. No redeeming quality in the kitchen or behind the bar. Don't order anything—not even water. The pricing is insulting given the zero quality.

Performers weighs 6 sub-metrics — talent, style, interact, pro, vip, dance — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 performers score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

No talent, no professionalism, total waste.

Talent is nonexistent, appearance is rough, interaction is cold, professionalism is gone. The stage is empty of actual dancers or they're completely checked out. VIP dances and regular dances offer zero value. There's no reason to stay and watch.

Each point on the radar is a dimension scored 0–100, weighted by how much it shapes a night out. Balanced shapes mean well-rounded clubs; spikes mean a venue excels at one thing but not others.

Tap any dimension's own info icon to see which sub-metrics feed into it.

Skip it—everything here is broken.

Cheeks is a complete failure across every dimension. Every metric is flatlined—atmosphere, service, talent, food, value. There's nothing here worth your time or money. Go literally anywhere else.

SW Score is a weighted composite across four dimensions — property, service, food, and performers — measured across 27 sub-metrics and a separate value score.

Sub-metric signals are pulled from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. Each dimension rolls up into a 0-100 score, which feeds the weighted overall.

How to read the shape: a balanced radar means a well-rounded club. A spiked shape means it excels at one thing and not others. Tap any dimension below for its full breakdown.