SW Community
Closed Strip Club

New Century Theater

San Francisco, CA 816 Larkin St 415-776-0212
Closed Opens 21:00 today
Strip Club Topless 21+
Hours
MON 21:00 - 05:00
TUE 21:00 - 05:00
WED 21:00 - 05:00 TODAY
THU 21:00 - 05:00
FRI 21:00 - 05:00
SAT 21:00 - 05:00
SUN 09:00 - 05:00
On tap
VIP Rooms
Private Booths
34/100

Complete dead zone—skip it entirely.

New Century Theater is a total washout across every dimension. Nothing works—not the space, not the staff, not the talent, not the value. Every single metric bottomed out. Walk past and find literally anywhere else.

How this is scored
41/100

Grim room, bad location, nowhere to park.

The room itself is depressing: zero atmosphere, no luxury feel, amenities don't exist, location is poor, parking is a nightmare, and privacy is nonexistent. It's cramped, unwelcoming, and feels like a forgotten basement. Go somewhere that actually invested in the space.

How property is scored
HOW PROPERTY IS SCORED

Property weighting

Property weighs 7 sub-metrics — atmosphere, location, privacy, parking, luxury, amenities, capacity — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 property score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

PROPERTY · 41/100

The room

Grim room, bad location, nowhere to park.

The room itself is depressing: zero atmosphere, no luxury feel, amenities don't exist, location is poor, parking is a nightmare, and privacy is nonexistent. It's cramped, unwelcoming, and feels like a forgotten basement. Go somewhere that actually invested in the space.

Sub-metrics (0-10)
  • Atmosphere 3.4
  • Location 2.0
  • Privacy 7.0
  • Parking 2.0
  • Luxury 2.8
  • Amenities 4.3
  • Capacity 7.0
30/100

Staff doesn't care, place is filthy.

Door staff are indifferent, bartenders are slow and disrespectful, safety feels nonexistent, and cleanliness is abysmal. The whole vibe screams that nobody here gives a damn. You'll feel it the moment you walk in.

How service is scored
HOW SERVICE IS SCORED

Service weighting

Service weighs 7 sub-metrics — door, bar, speed, respect, safety, clean, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 service score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

SERVICE · 30/100

The hospitality

Staff doesn't care, place is filthy.

Door staff are indifferent, bartenders are slow and disrespectful, safety feels nonexistent, and cleanliness is abysmal. The whole vibe screams that nobody here gives a damn. You'll feel it the moment you walk in.

Sub-metrics (0-10)
  • Door service 3.4
  • Bar service 3.0
  • Speed 3.4
  • Respect 2.6
  • Safety 2.6
  • Cleanliness 4.3
  • Value 2.0
22/100

Overpriced garbage, don't eat or drink here.

Drinks are overpriced swill, bottles cost a fortune for bottom-shelf quality, food is expensive garbage, and cigars/hookah aren't worth mentioning. Don't order anything—just don't.

How food is scored
HOW FOOD IS SCORED

Food weighting

Food weighs 7 sub-metrics — quality, price, drinks, bottles, luxury, cigar, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 food score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

FOOD · 22/100

The kitchen

Overpriced garbage, don't eat or drink here.

Drinks are overpriced swill, bottles cost a fortune for bottom-shelf quality, food is expensive garbage, and cigars/hookah aren't worth mentioning. Don't order anything—just don't.

Sub-metrics (0-10)
  • Food quality 1.0
  • Food prices 1.0
  • Drink prices 2.0
  • Bottle prices 1.0
  • Luxury 2.8
  • Cigars & hookah 1.0
  • Value 2.0
37/100

No talent, no energy, no reason to stay.

Talent is nonexistent, appearance standards are rock-bottom, interaction is zero, and professionalism is absent. The floor is dead. VIP value and dance value don't exist because there's nothing to pay for. Just go home.

How performers is scored
HOW PERFORMERS IS SCORED

Performers weighting

Performers weighs 6 sub-metrics — talent, style, interact, pro, vip, dance — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 performers score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

PERFORMERS · 37/100

The floor

No talent, no energy, no reason to stay.

Talent is nonexistent, appearance standards are rock-bottom, interaction is zero, and professionalism is absent. The floor is dead. VIP value and dance value don't exist because there's nothing to pay for. Just go home.

Sub-metrics (0-10)
  • Talent quality 5.1
  • Appearance & style 5.1
  • Interaction 3.4
  • Professionalism 3.4
  • VIP value 2.0
  • Dance value 3.0
HOW IT'S SCORED

Overall SW Score weighting

Each point on the radar is a dimension scored 0–100, weighted by how much it shapes a night out. Balanced shapes mean well-rounded clubs; spikes mean a venue excels at one thing but not others.

Tap any dimension's own info icon to see which sub-metrics feed into it.

SW SCORE · 34/100

How scoring works

Complete dead zone—skip it entirely.

New Century Theater is a total washout across every dimension. Nothing works—not the space, not the staff, not the talent, not the value. Every single metric bottomed out. Walk past and find literally anywhere else.

SW Score is a weighted composite across four dimensions — property, service, food, and performers — measured across 27 sub-metrics and a separate value score.

Sub-metric signals are pulled from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. Each dimension rolls up into a 0-100 score, which feeds the weighted overall.

How to read the shape: a balanced radar means a well-rounded club. A spiked shape means it excels at one thing and not others. Tap any dimension below for its full breakdown.

Dimension scores
  • Property 41
  • Service 30
  • Food 22
  • Performers 37
  • Value 22
Rate this club

Your take, one tap at a time.

A quick 6-step walkthrough — 4 categories of spiderweb ratings plus a written review at the end. Takes about 2 minutes.

0 of 27 rated

What the floor said

127 reviews
70/100 SW score
Only game in town after 2am When everywhere else closes, this place keeps going until 5am which is clutch. The stage is massive and impressive, but the Tenderloin location is sketchy as hell - had to circle forever to find decent parking. Expensive but sometimes you need what you need.
50/100 SW score
Overpriced with pushy service Stopped by during a work trip and immediately regretted it. The atmosphere feels run-down and the staff was aggressively trying to upsell everything. No alcohol either since it's full nude. Would probably skip next time I'm in SF.
40/100 SW score
Not worth the hype or cost Heard about the big stage but honestly the whole place felt pretty grungy. Door guy was whatever, drinks are non-existent, and everything costs way too much for what you get. The neighborhood made me nervous walking back to my car too.
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