Satin Topless

Property weighs 7 sub-metrics — atmosphere, location, privacy, parking, luxury, amenities, capacity — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 property score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Looks like a dated motel lobby.

The dated decor and cramped layout make it feel like a motel lobby. The 'luxury' vibe is a joke, and the lack of amenities only adds to the disappointment. If you're looking for a romantic evening, keep looking.

Service weighs 7 sub-metrics — door, bar, speed, respect, safety, clean, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 service score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Rude staff, slow service, and a dirty bar.

The staff seems completely checked out, with slow service and a dirty bar that's an insult. The lack of respect and safety concerns make it a nightmare. If you value being treated like a human being, go elsewhere.

Food weighs 7 sub-metrics — quality, price, drinks, bottles, luxury, cigar, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 food score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Overpriced and underseasoned food, with terrible drinks.

The kitchen seems to be phoning it in, with overpriced and underseasoned food that's an insult. The drinks are just as bad, with a bottle price that's highway robbery. If you're a foodie or a drink connoisseur, stay far, far away.

Performers weighs 6 sub-metrics — talent, style, interact, pro, vip, dance — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 performers score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Talent was nonexistent, and the dancers looked bored.

The talent was nonexistent, with dancers who looked like they'd rather be anywhere else. The lack of professionalism and interaction makes it feel like a sad, amateur hour. If you're looking for a lively floor show, keep looking.

Each point on the radar is a dimension scored 0–100, weighted by how much it shapes a night out. Balanced shapes mean well-rounded clubs; spikes mean a venue excels at one thing but not others.

Tap any dimension's own info icon to see which sub-metrics feed into it.

All-around disaster, from top to bottom.

This place has been a ghost town for years, with nothing to redeem it. The low scores across the board scream 'avoid at all costs.' If you're a local, you might pity the place, but for visitors, it's best to stick with better options.

SW Score is a weighted composite across four dimensions — property, service, food, and performers — measured across 27 sub-metrics and a separate value score.

Sub-metric signals are pulled from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. Each dimension rolls up into a 0-100 score, which feeds the weighted overall.

How to read the shape: a balanced radar means a well-rounded club. A spiked shape means it excels at one thing and not others. Tap any dimension below for its full breakdown.